How to Say I Love You Out Loud by Karole CozzoMy rating: 4 of 5 stars
I won a set of Swoon Reads titles in 2015 in their Swoon Reads NaNoWriMo Sweepstakes after winning NaNoWriMo (wrote 50,000+ words). With my continued problems with reading comprehension from my brain injury, despite my intentions, I didn't get to reading any of them until this one now.
To recap: I underwent the Lindamood-Bell Visualizing and Verbalizing Program to regain my reading comprehension about a year ago. 2019, and continuing in to 2020, has been about finding books to practice my regained skills on.
I'm writing this review on 11 April 2020 . . . why did I wait so long? Looking at the date I finished this book, that's around the time I began to feel unwell and then had a lot of fatigue and no recovery time. COVID-19 self-isolation has given me time to regain some of my energy. So let's see how much I remember!
I went into this book without reading the back cover copy, so I had no idea what it was about. That meant I discovered the plot as it unfolded and didn't know about the secret the main character was hiding until she revealed it. Those who'd read the back cover would've already known and wouldn't have experienced the suspense I did nor had the fun of trying to guess what Jordyn was hiding. The reveal revealed more than the secret, it revealed the character and struggles of this teenage girl. Suddenly, her story isn't another romance with the usual triangle; it's a romance that's not so much about the summer that was, the school year that is, but about the love between a sister and brother when shame, outside expectations, judgements interfere.
The secret isn't the only reveal. As the story progresses, we learn more about Jordyn's summer and the events that lead up to her current situation and relationships. What I liked most about this novel is that it was unflinching in showing not everyone is supportive of a person with a major disability, that sometimes how we act in private doesn't show up in public, that the shame of being different or having someone in one's life who is usually the butt of jokes and discrimination can make one want to side with the powerful ones, the ones who malign the different.
I'm not acquainted with anyone with autism, but I go to a clinic that treats children and teens with autism and discussed parts of this book with them. This novel seems to have created a very believable character in Jordyn's brother Phillip. Because of that, we learn about some aspects of autism. I say, some, because like anything to do with the brain, there are typical issues and then there are individual characteristics. I liked, though, that this isn't a this-is-what-autism-is-like novel but a novel about two siblings and how the older one struggles to show her love in public. The one down side was that because Phillip was described through Jordyn's eyes, he seemed a little two-dimensional. Perhaps that was deliberate because what we see from the outside is not what is happening on the inside, but because communication is so impaired, we can never see what's on the inside.
In any good story, the main character must grow. And Jordyn did. I liked the ruthless honesty of her self-reflection and her growing courage. And the ending was satisfying. All in all, a good read.
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