Sunday, September 11, 2005

New Housing: A Better Johnny-On-The-Spot!

I heard a story that sounds like an urban myth, but it isn't. There's videotape. Citytv is the only station I know with the moxie to show it. They should get it.

A young woman with her two pre-school daughters went out in to their backyard to enjoy a splash in the pool under the sun. Looking through the chain link fence at the house farm going up behind her property, she saw something rather unexpected. The construction workers were eschewing the johnny-on-the-spot for a more convenient, much larger one. Stepping to one side of their working area, they peed on the joists, the floors, the corners, the walls, and in the closets of the houses they were building. Roofers peed off the roof to the ground below. She grabbed her video camera and taped them joyfully marking their territory. Then she called the police, the city, and the developer, and they hightailed it down. I've heard that when she sinks her teeth into one, she doesn't let go. The builder read the contractors the riot act, then sheepishly told her that things would not change. They could not change this primitive act of aggression because the workers did it everywhere, in every house farm going up in every neighbourhood, and one could not police them all. Public health obviously isn't all that concerned about the hitchikers on the stream of yellow, making a home in the wood. But she finally had the answer as to why her sister's new house stank of more than new carpet and new paint and new glue. She hadn't been hallucinating the smell, It's real. It's there. And it's pretty much permanent, as anyone who's ever been in those medieval English castles can attest to.

Another reason I won't buy a new house, like I needed one more! So if you live in a new house and couldn't quite place that slightly off odour, now you know. (I apologise if you were sitting at your table eating in your new kitchen in your new house while reading this.)

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2 comments:

RippedOff said...

What a laugh! Wish I could see htis video. You would think that Health & Safety would be right on that. Just becasue something is one way doesn't mean we can'lt change it. I know it's true, because when my neighbour was building her house, she went everyday to make sure someone didn't dump a load in the wholes in the conrete block foundation. What a "gas". the workplace is the work place. They don't need to hork or whizz in public.If you can get a clip, put it on your site. Or better yet EXPOSED-REAL MEN ON THE WORKSITE - a calendar to raise funds to re-train these guys before they go back into the field. You get a paycheck only when you "clean up your act". Have some decorum and dignity guys. LOL

talk talk talk said...

I LOVE the idea of a Calendar. The 12 best whizzers -- what a gas! I'll pass it on. She could also set up showings and charge admission!